Beauty From Pain

It's now the end of the semester, and things are going crazy. finals, papers, exams, presentations, chapel, work, internship prep, candlelight carols.... the list goes on and on. And all in the next 2 weeks. Sadly, while all this craziness goes on, there is no break from life whizzing on around. The only thing that I keep telling myself is that there is purpose, and that God has each person in the exact place they are supposed to be at this very moment. A few really hard things have been happening (well, more like old wounds being broken open) lately, mainly because I am so caught up in things of life that don't matter as much instead of being focused on what really does matter. Even through this pain that is going on, I know that there are innumerable things that God is teaching me through them, and that there will be relief eventually. This song is an all time favorite of mine, and just thinking about it makes me feel so much better.

The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know i'm alive but i feel like i've died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that i made
I try to keep warm but i just grow colder
I feel like i'm slipping away

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best i can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though i can't understand why this happened
I know that i will when i look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here i am, at the end of me
Tryin to hold to what i can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Superchick, Beauty from Pain

Does it make the tears go away? No. Does it make the hurt easier? No. Does it bring hope and a little peace to a shattered heart that keeps being dropped? YES. God has the greatest plan for our lives, and there is nothing that we could do to make it any better than the best that he has planned for us. There is purpose to this madness, and there will be joy again.

Time

It has been quite a long while since I last posted. I have not really had a chance to even think about something deep... I have been so busy. I will try tho! just for you, the one reader who skims my rantings.... :)

This past weekend, I was blessed to have a couple of guy friends from high school come visit me and my other friend from then that lives in the area. We had a blast, and were so busy!! It was really good to be able to catch up with them, they are a year younger than my friend Rachel (the one who lives near me for the summer) and I, so they are just fresh from their first year of college. It was fun to hear their stories and to catch up. But by far the most exciting part was stepping back in time for the weekend, going back to the days when we were sitting on the couch in the youth room...

Life was so easy then, my biggest care was that I didn't have many friends -- that obviously was not a problem... and the next biggest care was about college... would we make it? would we love moving out? that all seems like a lifetime ago! For me so much has happened since then! lets see what has happened..... I went to Sudan, and came back a changed person; my dad left us and has sense divorced my mom and remarried; my uncle died at the most inopportune time; I spent one semester in one state, came home and worked full time while being a full time student online (don't try this at home folks!); moved to this windy city; had my first boyfriend... and my second for that matter; toured the country with my choir; submerged myself in learning public transit; moved into my own apartment (if only for the summer); and now, i find my days occupied with the cutest little kids known to man!

Life is so interesting... God has so much in store for us, so much that we can't see now, and might not ever understand. Yet, we are promised that if we seek the Lord, we will find Him! He loves us more than we could ever imagine, and only allows things to happen to us so that we can become more the people that we are created to be.

Do not loose hope my friend! there is light at the end of this dark tunnel that we call life. There is Heaven to look forward to! And on top of that, we can do so much right were we are, there are countless ways that we can use the gifts that God has given us to serve others around us. Be open to learning, be open to hurting, be open to changing.

the JOY of the LORD is our strength! do not let anything or anyone try and convince you otherwise. you are in the BEST of hands.

Beauty Will Rise

So, I know that I just did a song, but Grace lent me this CD last night, and I have fallen in love with it. The CD is Beauty Will Rise, the artist is Steven Curtis Chapman. This is the album that he wrote after his daughter was tragically killed in a car accident. The song I want to share is Beauty Will Rise.

I cannot imagine being in his place, loosing his daughter like he did. But I do understand his pain. The hopelessness that sticks no matter how much truth you put before yourself. It reminds me of David, in the Psalms he laments before God and cries out to Him, pleading with Him. David tells himself how God is in control and that He is all that he needs to survive. Yet, we still have that voice in our heads yelling at us, telling us it is not okay. Our minds and our hearts are at odds with each other. our hearts know the truth, that God is sovereign and in control of all things of life, but our heads cannot grasp the concept. so we tell ourselves over and over again that there is so much more to life; more to life than an earthly whole family; more than the burdens our friends lay on us, or the burden our heart feels for them; more than the loss of a friendship or of a boyfriend/girlfriend. Eventually, if we tell ourselves this enough we will believe it... right? that is what David thought at least. Check out psalm 40 or psalm 73 to see what I mean.

back to the song... here are the lyrics, and a link to listen to it:

It was the day the world went wrong/ I screamed til my voice was gone

And watched through the tears as everything/ came crashing down

Slowly panic turns to pain

As we awake to what remains/ and sift through the ashes that are left behind

But buried deep beneath/ All our broken dreams
we have this hope:

Out of these ashes... beauty will rise
and we will dance among the ruins
We will see Him with our own eyes
Out of these ashes... beauty will rise
For we know, joy is coming in the morning...
in the morning, beauty will rise

So take another breath for now/ and let the tears come washing down,
and if you can't believe I will believe/ for you.

Cuz I have seen/ the signs of spring!
Just watch and see:

Out of these ashes... beauty will rise
and we will dance among the ruins
We will see Him with our own eyes
Out of these ashes... beauty will rise
For we know, joy is coming in the morning...
in the morning...

I can hear it in the distance/ and it's not too far away.
It's the music and the laughter/ of a wedding and a feast.
I can almost feel the hand of God/ reaching for my face
to wipe the tears away, and say/ "It's time to make everything new."

"Make it all new"

This is our hope.
This is the promise.
This is our hope.
This is the promise.
That it would take our breath away
to see the beauty that's been made

Out of these ashes... beauty will rise
and we will dance among the ruins
We will see Him with our own eyes
Out of this darkness... new life will shine
and we'll know the joy is coming in the morning...
in the morning...beauty will rise!

Oh, Beauty will rise

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6sGtkhpqeA

Revelation 21:3-7

3… I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

5He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."

6He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. 7He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son.

Hold On

Why hello there friends! It has been quite a while since I last wrote here. While talking to my good friend Karyssa this week, she sent me this song and I fell in love with it.

This song really brings me back to what is important in this life. While life may bring us to a place where we have to struggle to find the same joy in life that we have been living on for so long, we need to remember what the purpose of our life is. We were designed to praise God in all that we are, in the joy and sadness, the frustrations and grief. Each day is a new one, and we need to hold on to God, there is nothing that can stop God's love from coming through! We need to be thankful in every moment for the wonderful blessings that God has given us.

It also helps that this is a song that makes you want to dance :)

Hold On by TobyMac

Wake up to the morning light
wipe away the lonely nights
let a brand new day wash over you,
Wanna see you smile again
show some love to your crazy friends
wipe your tears away
those days are through

If you move just a little bit closer you can put your head on my shoulder
Yeah, yeah

[Chorus:]
So baby hold on
just another day or two
I can see the clouds are
moving faster now
and the sun is breaking through
If you can hold on, to the one that's holding you
there is nothing that can
stop this crazy love
from breaking through

We're breaking through
We're breaking through

Wake up to the morning sun
thank the Lord for the
things He's done
lift your eyes up to the
hope that's ever true
Wanna see you smiling girl
you're a light in this jaded world
wipe away those tears
this one's for you

Come on, move a little bit closer, you can put your head on my shoulder
Yeah, yeah

[Chorus]

And the stars are up there
shining for you
oh, the Father does adore you
His love will never change
And you and I
we were born to follow
the hope that will lead us to tomorrow
and no one can take it away

So baby hold on
just another day or two
I can see the clouds are
moving faster now
and the sun is breaking through
If you could hold on
to the one that's holding you
there is nothing that can stop this crazy, crazy love from breaking [x2]

You see the clouds are
moving faster now
the clouds are moving faster

You see the clouds are
moving faster now
And the sun is breaking through

We're breaking through

ps If you think about it pray for my friend Jillian.

TTFN