Prayer.... again!!

you can never have too many posts about prayer!

Quite often, we think of prayer as a way of expressing oneself when we don't want to talk to people or can't talk to them. And also, to ask God for the things that we have no control over or what we think God probably wants to happen anyways.

This week, I have been thinking a lot about this concept of prayer, and I am coming to the conclusion that this is quite messed up. I will be the first to tell you that I don't know much about prayer. In my looking at what the Bible says, I have discovered so many things about prayer that I have yet to implement in my life.

There is something that has really been bothering me for the last 5 months or so, and I have held back from praying for what I want directly because I thought it too selfish a prayer. when I look at it from the eyes of my Bible, I realize that most of the personal prayers recorded are asking for personal matters that could be considered "selfish." The other reason I have refrained from praying about this is because I know that if God wants this situation resolved in the way I want it to be, He will. But then I think of Hannah in 1 Samuel, and how she wept like a crazy woman over her want for a son. Was it because of her prayer that God granted her request? or was it already in His plan for her life, and she only had to wait for it?

the question in my book really comes down to: Does it take more faith to not pray about something, trusting that God will supply our needs? or does it take more to pray for what you want, knowing God could say no? I decided that praying for the thing is what I should do. I trust God that whatever He has planned for my life will come to pass, but 5 months is a long time to pray against something and have it still be very prevalent in my thoughts. So, I'm switching it up. After all, Jesus prayed that God would pass the cup from his lips (Luke 22). I pray as He did, not my will O Lord, but yours be done.

Life Issues

Ever thought about how so many people have trust issues? I know that I am for sure one of those people. In the shower tonight, I was thinking about this, you see when you struggle with trusting people as I do, it is a common thought process. Anyways, as I was thinking about this, I realized something: It's not that we do or do not trust some people around us; when it comes down to it, we don't trust God. He promises us that He will take care of us, and if anything life brings to us is hard or painful God will be right there with us. He uses even the hard things to mold and shape us to be who He is calling us to be. Without the hardships of my life, I would not be anywhere near where I am today. Now I look at my heart, and every time I think about how I don't think I may ever be able to trust a guy as a wife should trust her husband, I am telling God right to his face that I don't trust Him to take care of me. So, if you are like me, and find it hard to trust people when you think I can't trust him/her think rather, are you trusting God? This gives me such hope, for I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is in control of all things, and that God will take care of me. I don't need to be afraid of all the pain that one person could inflict on me, I need to trust God.

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning: great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. Lamentations 3:19-26

Time

It has been quite a long while since I last posted. I have not really had a chance to even think about something deep... I have been so busy. I will try tho! just for you, the one reader who skims my rantings.... :)

This past weekend, I was blessed to have a couple of guy friends from high school come visit me and my other friend from then that lives in the area. We had a blast, and were so busy!! It was really good to be able to catch up with them, they are a year younger than my friend Rachel (the one who lives near me for the summer) and I, so they are just fresh from their first year of college. It was fun to hear their stories and to catch up. But by far the most exciting part was stepping back in time for the weekend, going back to the days when we were sitting on the couch in the youth room...

Life was so easy then, my biggest care was that I didn't have many friends -- that obviously was not a problem... and the next biggest care was about college... would we make it? would we love moving out? that all seems like a lifetime ago! For me so much has happened since then! lets see what has happened..... I went to Sudan, and came back a changed person; my dad left us and has sense divorced my mom and remarried; my uncle died at the most inopportune time; I spent one semester in one state, came home and worked full time while being a full time student online (don't try this at home folks!); moved to this windy city; had my first boyfriend... and my second for that matter; toured the country with my choir; submerged myself in learning public transit; moved into my own apartment (if only for the summer); and now, i find my days occupied with the cutest little kids known to man!

Life is so interesting... God has so much in store for us, so much that we can't see now, and might not ever understand. Yet, we are promised that if we seek the Lord, we will find Him! He loves us more than we could ever imagine, and only allows things to happen to us so that we can become more the people that we are created to be.

Do not loose hope my friend! there is light at the end of this dark tunnel that we call life. There is Heaven to look forward to! And on top of that, we can do so much right were we are, there are countless ways that we can use the gifts that God has given us to serve others around us. Be open to learning, be open to hurting, be open to changing.

the JOY of the LORD is our strength! do not let anything or anyone try and convince you otherwise. you are in the BEST of hands.

Eternal Life

So, I was reading my friend Jillian's profile, and I found this, knowing enough french to get me into trouble, I quickly recognized this as the lyrics to the Women's Choir's traditional final piece, Eternal Life.

Seigneur, faites de moi un instrument de votre paix.
Là où il y a de la haine, que je mette l'amour.
Là où il y a l'offense, que je mette le pardon.
Là où il y a la discorde, que je mette l'union.
Là où il y a l'erreur, que je mette la vérité.
Là où il y a le doute, que je mette la foi.
Là où il y a le désespoir, que je mette l'espérance.
Là où il y a les ténèbres, que je mette votre lumière.
Là où il y a la tristesse, que je mette la joie.
Ô Maître, que je ne cherche pas tant à être consolé qu'à consoler,
à être compris qu'à comprendre,
à être aimé qu'à aimer,
car c'est en donnant qu'on reçoit,
c'est en s'oubliant qu'on trouve, c'est en pardonnant qu'on est pardonné,
c'est en mourant qu'on ressuscite à l'éternelle vie." - St. Francis

not translated directly, but the lyrics of our song:

Lord, Make me an instrument of thy peace, peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love

where there is injury pardon,

where there is doubt, faith,

where there is despair, hope!

where there is darkness, light!

where there is sadness, JOY!

Oh, Divine Master, grant that I may not,

so much seek to be consoled as to console,

to be understood as to understand,

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

it is in dying that we are born,

to eternal life

Such an amazing piece, I love this song so much, it truly grasps the true meaning of life.

Eternal Life

So, I was reading my friend Jillian's profile, and I found this, knowing enough french to get me into trouble, I quickly recognized this as the lyrics to the Women's Choir's traditional final piece, Eternal Life.

Seigneur, faites de moi un instrument de votre paix.
Là où il y a de la haine, que je mette l'amour.
Là où il y a l'offense, que je mette le pardon.
Là où il y a la discorde, que je mette l'union.
Là où il y a l'erreur, que je mette la vérité.
Là où il y a le doute, que je mette la foi.
Là où il y a le désespoir, que je mette l'espérance.
Là où il y a les ténèbres, que je mette votre lumière.
Là où il y a la tristesse, que je mette la joie.
Ô Maître, que je ne cherche pas tant à être consolé qu'à consoler,
à être compris qu'à comprendre,
à être aimé qu'à aimer,
car c'est en donnant qu'on reçoit,
c'est en s'oubliant qu'on trouve, c'est en pardonnant qu'on est pardonné,
c'est en mourant qu'on ressuscite à l'éternelle vie." - St. Francis

not translated directly, but the lyrics of our song:

Lord, Make me an instrument of thy peace, peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love

where there is injury pardon,

where there is doubt, faith,

where there is despair, hope!

where there is darkness, light!

where there is sadness, JOY!

Oh, Divine Master, grant that I may not,

so much seek to be consoled as to console,

to be understood as to understand,

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

it is in dying that we are born,

to eternal life

Such an amazing piece, I love this song so much, it truly grasps the true meaning of life.

Wisdom and the Fear of the Lord

So, I have been doing a study on the fear of the Lord. I was challenged in a book to read a chapter in proverbs a day, and when the first day I was overwhelmed by the first 7 verses of the first chapter, I decided to take my own sweet time reading through.

The first thing that stuck out as I read, was verse 7:

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.

my thought was- I don't fear God enough.

Think about it, how many times have you been overwhelmed by fear of the amazingly powerful God that we serve?

On the other hand, I don't exactly know what a lifestyle looks like that is filled with this holy fear. So, the next day, I read on:

v. 20

Wisdom cries aloud in the street, in the markets, she raises her voice.

That day (yesterday), as I was walking throughout this magnificent city that I live in, i could not help but picture wisdom standing at the corner of Belden and LP west crying with no one to hear her, or standing by the t-rex in the field museum amid the thousands of people who would walk by her that day alone.

Do you hear wisdom? I know that I don't always hear what she has to say, and I don't pay attention when I probably should.

this morning, I read something great in chapter 2:

My son, if you receive my words
and treasure up my commandments with you,
making your ear attentive to wisdom
and inclining your heart to understanding;
yes, if you call out for insight
and raise your voice for understanding,
if you seek it like silver
and search for it as for hidden treasures,
then you will understand the fear of the LORD
and find the knowledge of God.

So, this morning, i go off to work, not concerned about that I don't know what true fear of the Lord looks like, and not upset that I cannot hear wisdom as I see her shouting wisdom on the street corners. If I truly seek her and long to understand, I will know, God promises it!

blog stalking?

So, sitting waiting to leave for church, I decided to see why it is that I could not use my name in my blog address. After reading about a stay at home mom, I stumbled across a page in Portuguese... I know cool right? Having handy dandy chrome, I translated the page and this is what I found:

A WORD CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING!

There was a blind man sitting on the sidewalk in Paris, with a cap at his feet and a piece of wood, written in white chalk:
"Please help me, I'm blind."
A publicist, he stopped and saw a few coins in the hat. Without asking permission, took the poster and chalk, and wrote another ad and went away. Later he returned to the advertising spend in front of the blind. Now, his cap was full of coins. The blind man recognized the footsteps and asked if it was he who had rewritten his sign, wondering what was written there. The Advertiser said:
"Nothing that is not in accordance with their listing, but with other words"
He smiled its way. The blind man never knew, but his new sign read:
- Today is Spring in Paris and I can not see it.

I think this Donna Jo found something profound... A word really can change everything. It is just like today's culture that would give more to someone who appeals to our emotions rather than to our pocketbook.