Friday, July 30, 2010

Prayer.... again!!

you can never have too many posts about prayer!

Quite often, we think of prayer as a way of expressing oneself when we don't want to talk to people or can't talk to them. And also, to ask God for the things that we have no control over or what we think God probably wants to happen anyways.

This week, I have been thinking a lot about this concept of prayer, and I am coming to the conclusion that this is quite messed up. I will be the first to tell you that I don't know much about prayer. In my looking at what the Bible says, I have discovered so many things about prayer that I have yet to implement in my life.

There is something that has really been bothering me for the last 5 months or so, and I have held back from praying for what I want directly because I thought it too selfish a prayer. when I look at it from the eyes of my Bible, I realize that most of the personal prayers recorded are asking for personal matters that could be considered "selfish." The other reason I have refrained from praying about this is because I know that if God wants this situation resolved in the way I want it to be, He will. But then I think of Hannah in 1 Samuel, and how she wept like a crazy woman over her want for a son. Was it because of her prayer that God granted her request? or was it already in His plan for her life, and she only had to wait for it?

the question in my book really comes down to: Does it take more faith to not pray about something, trusting that God will supply our needs? or does it take more to pray for what you want, knowing God could say no? I decided that praying for the thing is what I should do. I trust God that whatever He has planned for my life will come to pass, but 5 months is a long time to pray against something and have it still be very prevalent in my thoughts. So, I'm switching it up. After all, Jesus prayed that God would pass the cup from his lips (Luke 22). I pray as He did, not my will O Lord, but yours be done.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Life Issues

Ever thought about how so many people have trust issues? I know that I am for sure one of those people. In the shower tonight, I was thinking about this, you see when you struggle with trusting people as I do, it is a common thought process. Anyways, as I was thinking about this, I realized something: It's not that we do or do not trust some people around us; when it comes down to it, we don't trust God. He promises us that He will take care of us, and if anything life brings to us is hard or painful God will be right there with us. He uses even the hard things to mold and shape us to be who He is calling us to be. Without the hardships of my life, I would not be anywhere near where I am today. Now I look at my heart, and every time I think about how I don't think I may ever be able to trust a guy as a wife should trust her husband, I am telling God right to his face that I don't trust Him to take care of me. So, if you are like me, and find it hard to trust people when you think I can't trust him/her think rather, are you trusting God? This gives me such hope, for I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is in control of all things, and that God will take care of me. I don't need to be afraid of all the pain that one person could inflict on me, I need to trust God.

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning: great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. Lamentations 3:19-26

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


It has been quite a long while since I last posted. I have not really had a chance to even think about something deep... I have been so busy. I will try tho! just for you, the one reader who skims my rantings.... :)

This past weekend, I was blessed to have a couple of guy friends from high school come visit me and my other friend from then that lives in the area. We had a blast, and were so busy!! It was really good to be able to catch up with them, they are a year younger than my friend Rachel (the one who lives near me for the summer) and I, so they are just fresh from their first year of college. It was fun to hear their stories and to catch up. But by far the most exciting part was stepping back in time for the weekend, going back to the days when we were sitting on the couch in the youth room...

Life was so easy then, my biggest care was that I didn't have many friends -- that obviously was not a problem... and the next biggest care was about college... would we make it? would we love moving out? that all seems like a lifetime ago! For me so much has happened since then! lets see what has happened..... I went to Sudan, and came back a changed person; my dad left us and has sense divorced my mom and remarried; my uncle died at the most inopportune time; I spent one semester in one state, came home and worked full time while being a full time student online (don't try this at home folks!); moved to this windy city; had my first boyfriend... and my second for that matter; toured the country with my choir; submerged myself in learning public transit; moved into my own apartment (if only for the summer); and now, i find my days occupied with the cutest little kids known to man!

Life is so interesting... God has so much in store for us, so much that we can't see now, and might not ever understand. Yet, we are promised that if we seek the Lord, we will find Him! He loves us more than we could ever imagine, and only allows things to happen to us so that we can become more the people that we are created to be.

Do not loose hope my friend! there is light at the end of this dark tunnel that we call life. There is Heaven to look forward to! And on top of that, we can do so much right were we are, there are countless ways that we can use the gifts that God has given us to serve others around us. Be open to learning, be open to hurting, be open to changing.

the JOY of the LORD is our strength! do not let anything or anyone try and convince you otherwise. you are in the BEST of hands.