Sacrifice

Sacrifice: an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy.

Sacrifice. This is a term that we hear a lot in our lives. Or at least I have; especially in Bible school. From when I was a kid: "you need to sacrifice of yourself for your brother...--even if you don't like him;" to the teen years: "It's your sister's wedding, not yours.... give of yourself to make this day go smoothly." I also think a lot about sacrifice because one of my love languages is service. And service requires that you give of yourself for someone else. This is how we show love for other people! When you're love language is service, it is really hard to let someone else sacrifice for you. Something just does not seem right about it. You don't want anyone to be inconvenienced by you, that is the opposite of being a servant!

Something else that I have been thinking about in the last few weeks is that of the love of a Mother. I really have been pondering this a lot, and am in awe of how much a affect mom can have on your life! A mom gives up her life when you are born. There is a part of her that is gone when all of the sudden she now has to take care of a baby. Some moms have issues with this loss of freedom (we had to read Doris Lessing's To Room Nineteen in British Lit), and get lost in a mental illness. I would say this is one of the ultimate sacrifices.

My mom is AMAZING. Sure, we don't really get along that great, but she is the most supportive person that I know!!!!! Several times, she has told me how proud she is of me following God's purpose for my life. The fact that I have friends whose parents are less than supportive of their child's desire/calling to go into the mission field makes me appreciate this so much more.

Now its story time:

this semester has been really hard for me, both academically, and financially. I live in Chicago and pay my way through school with my nanny wages. I was not able to get as many hours this semester, which was probably a good thing because this semester has been particularly grueling. I have been fighting with the decision of what to do for next semester, do I stay here and try and work through again after being abroad this summer? do I take a semester off and work in the city? do I ask for an extra semester so that I can work more hours? its a really hard decision to make. when I was denied for off campus housing, called my mom. after we had talked a while, we came to a point where she came to me with this:

Donna, I love you, and I support you 110% in what you are doing at school. I didn't want to tell you this till later, but I think you need to know it now: I am taking a mortgage out on the house to pay for your school.

what do you do with a statement like that? I don't want YOUR money! I said, you have done so much for me already, you can't afford this!

Donna, you don't have a choice. this is what I am going to do, and you don't have any say in it.

I did not want my mom to sacrifice for me, because I am indebted to HER for all that she has done for me. I was angry with her, how dare she take things into her own hands. God will provide for me here!

It was not until several hours later in a conversation with a friend about the matter that she pointed out that God uses each of his children, in different ways, all to cary out His work. He wants me here, to do His work in Chicago, as well as preparing me for the future ministry that He has in store. My mom? maybe her part in the scheme of things at this time is to pay for my school so that I can focus on learning again. Who am I to tell God that I don't want the help that He has so graciously provided for me?

Do I think that it's fair that my mom is sacrificing so much of her so very little for me? NOT AT ALL! But let's think for a second: as my friend so greatly put it: Donna, where did your salvation come from? My salvation comes through the death of Jesus Christ. How's this for a question: do I think its fair that God sacrificed His ONLY son (His so very little) for me, a pitiful sinner? I certainly don't think that this is fair.

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

1 John 4: 9-10

Who am I to say who God can use? As for my mom? God will take care of her. She is following her leading in this time of her life! I cannot worry about what is to come, God will take care of this. what I do know is this:

But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in His unfailing love. To deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine.

Psalm 33: 18-19

God is faithful and will preserve His people. they will never be outside of His hand of protection. Be encouraged my friends, God is good.

Singing in the Shower

It has been a while since I last posted! I was looking over my past posts, and I see a theme of music. Lots of posts with lyrics and reasons I like them or why they move me. I tell my friends who comment on my singing all the time (wherever I am, whatever I'm doing, I always have a song in my mouth), that if they ever don't hear me singing in the shower, that there is something wrong, be it that I have a lot on my mind, or that I don't have a voice.

This week, I have not been singing much, lots on the mind. Lots of things that take my focus away from where it should be: on Christ. in my devotions this week, God has been continually reassuring me of His care and provision for me. He is gently reminding me that all these thoughts that are running through my head all the time are not what I should be concentrating on.

First, God has reminded me that a Thankful heart in the midst of trials shows His glory and my faith that He has a bigger plan in store for me than what I may want in the moment.

Then today, when I could not concentrate on my devotions, I read this: "let the goal of this day be to bring every thought captive to [God]. [...] In [His] radiant Light, anxious thoughts shrink and shrivel away.

We need to focus our thoughts on Him, when we do, we no longer worry about the everyday things that bog us down, we see a bigger picture, one where His plan is what we are concerned with.

So, the next time you can't concentrate because life is getting you down, remember that God has a bigger plan in store, and that you are there for a reason. Shoot up a prayer of thanksgiving for the trial that is creating you to be the person you are meant to be, and hear the words of God:

I WILL GAURD YOU AND KEEP YOU IN CONSTANT PEACE, AS YOU FOCUS YOUR MIND ON ME.

~Happy singing!

unaltered response

Christmas this year was thankfully the best one in several years. There were no fights with the siblings about how we don't want to go to one or another Christmas. There was no evident hard feelings for going to one of those "other Christmases."

What a way to end the Christmas week. Granted, we have one more tomorrow, but I think we will be able to handle it.

This post is not about my hard past holidays, it is about the glory of rebirth. I laughed when I got a text today that said Happy Incarnation Day, but that is the real meaning of today, and we forget about it so much! My devotions over this break have been ones that have reassured and reminded me of WHO Christ is, and WHAT He came to do.

God sent His son, we all know that, but what we don't think of is how technical that really gets. How does the balance between divine and human work; what kind of God is Christ? I think that the thing that I personally forget the most about Christ is that He is STILL fully divine and fully human. He is in the reincarnated form, but Christ did not come to earth to be a man, so that He could save us then go back to glory, back to His fully divine nature that He had before the Incarnation. He gave it all up forever.

The other thing that we don't think of is how amazing God has to be to plan all this out, and fulfill all prophesies and rules that He has laid out.

If you are looking for something to read in your devotions, check out the beginning of Romans. Read how Paul understands the Incarnation, and allow God to speak to you of the intricateness of the Incarnation, and marvel as I am at not only how amazing Christ is for becoming flesh, but also at how God designed it all, making it so that we could come to know Christ, and eventually spend eternity with Him.

Systematic Theology

I was walking home from Target last night with my friend Kendra and we were talking about life in general, how she want's to be a missionary to Hawaii, and I want to be one in the Middle East somewhere. In general, we were talking about how amazing God is, how he cultivates in us this passion for something without having ever done something (She has actually been to Hawaii, but not on a missions trip). God is so incredible and big that He plans these things out, that He gives us passions and gifts that can be used too further His Kingdom. This is not only an exciting thought but a terrifying one too! We get so caught up in life, in classes, in paperwork, in work, that the big picture slips our minds. We don't remember the reason that we are here!

In Systematic Theology this year, we studied the attributes and nature of God. We spent weeks looking at who God is, and what He does. It was the most incredible class. We have this knowledge of who we know God to be, but we don't really apply that to anything else, its just our lives. To study God and who He is, what He does, and what He is capable of doing, there is nothing greater! The extent of which God is so amazingly consistent with Himself is so mind blowing!

Thinking of this makes me realize how little I really have to worry about, I am only a mere college student who is busy in the terms of the world, but the thing that makes all this ok is that God has the very minute details of my life planned out for me! I don't have to worry about what is going because God is in control.

May our prayers be that God would always bring us to the place that we will be closest to Him, no matter what that implies.

Beauty From Pain

It's now the end of the semester, and things are going crazy. finals, papers, exams, presentations, chapel, work, internship prep, candlelight carols.... the list goes on and on. And all in the next 2 weeks. Sadly, while all this craziness goes on, there is no break from life whizzing on around. The only thing that I keep telling myself is that there is purpose, and that God has each person in the exact place they are supposed to be at this very moment. A few really hard things have been happening (well, more like old wounds being broken open) lately, mainly because I am so caught up in things of life that don't matter as much instead of being focused on what really does matter. Even through this pain that is going on, I know that there are innumerable things that God is teaching me through them, and that there will be relief eventually. This song is an all time favorite of mine, and just thinking about it makes me feel so much better.

The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know i'm alive but i feel like i've died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that i made
I try to keep warm but i just grow colder
I feel like i'm slipping away

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best i can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though i can't understand why this happened
I know that i will when i look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here i am, at the end of me
Tryin to hold to what i can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Superchick, Beauty from Pain

Does it make the tears go away? No. Does it make the hurt easier? No. Does it bring hope and a little peace to a shattered heart that keeps being dropped? YES. God has the greatest plan for our lives, and there is nothing that we could do to make it any better than the best that he has planned for us. There is purpose to this madness, and there will be joy again.

Jesus will meet you there

The middle of a really tough week, one filled with stress and decisions, yet I know that Jesus will meet me wherever I am. This song really portrays what I need to hear right about now. A truly broken girl, one fraught with sins and problems, yet, wherever I am Jesus know exactly where I am will never leave me.

When you think you've hit the bottom

and the bottom gives way

and you fall into a darkness

no words can explain

and you don't know how you make it out alive

Jesus will meet you there.

When the doctor says, "I'm sorry,

we don't know what else to do."

and you're looking at your family

wondering how they'll make it through...

Whatever road this life takes you down,

Jesus will meet you there.

He knows the way to wherever you are

He knows the way to the depths of your heart

He knows the way cuz he's already been

where you're going

Jesus will meet you there.

I hope that you find encouragement in this, that you will remember to spend time with the one who is in control of all. Keep looking up, you will get through!

When the jury says, "Guilty,"

and the prison doors close

When the one you love says nothing,

just packs up and goes

When the sunlight comes and your world's still dark,

Jesus will meet you there.

When you've failed again and all your

second chances have been used

And the heavy weight of guilt and shame

is crushing down on you...

And all you have is one last cry for help

Jesus will meet you there.

He knows the way to wherever you are

He knows the way to the depths of your heart

He knows the way cuz he's already been

where you're going

When you realize the dreams you've had

for your child won't come true

when the phone rings in the middle

of the night with tragic news...

Whatever valley you must walk through,

Jesus will meet you there.

He will meet you there.

Jesus will meet you there...

Abba, these days life is so busy, so full of things that we just do to get through. Please don't let me get distracted from the things that really don't matter. And even keep me from being sidetracked to the things that will only slow me down. Do not let me ever forget how faithful, holy, and sufficient you are. I am here, waiting for your plan, doing my best to hold onto what I know you have sent. sustain me, keep me focused on your glorious plan for my life.

This is not how it should be
This is not how it could be
This is how it is
And our God is in control

This is not how it will be
When we finally will see
We'll see with our own eyes
He was always in control

And we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
And we will finally really understand what it means
So we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
While we're waiting for that day

This is not where we planned to be
When we started this journey
But this is where we are
And our God is in control

Though this first taste is bitter
There will be sweetness forever
When we finally taste and see
That our God is in control

And we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
And we will finally really understand what it means
So we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
While we're waiting for that day

We're waiting for that day
We'll keep on waiting for that day
And we will rise
Our God is in control

Steven Curtis Chapmen: Our God is in Control